Difference between dating and having a relationship college dating sexual stories
We let the damage done by toxic masculinity contribute to a culture where rape and sexual assault are tacitly or explicitly permitted – even encouraged.
Case in point: the case of Stanford University swimmer and convicted rapist Brock Allan Turner.
When dating, we are more open to trying out new things, thus a wider gap we list as acceptable. We had very little to talk about or discuss, and never been very close. There was really nothing connecting us except our interest in each other.
But relationships are more than just movies and dinners, and moonlight walks on the beach. Other research suggests that the ideal gap in relationships is 4.4 years, and divorced people tend to have a larger disparity in subsequent marriages. Young people usually pair up within their age group, as at that point in life their circle of communication is limited to people of about the same maturity. By then our circles of acquaintances grow to be more spread through generations, and personal values and life style become more important than how old the two partners are.
The need to “get” sex is all-encompassing because the more of it you have, the higher “status” you have as a man.
You’ll notice how often sex and sexlessness comes up as an insult when a man wants to insult another man.
As Detroit Lions linebacker Deandre Levy said so well in his piece on consent and sexual assault: “It’s truly astounding how many awful things that occur in this world because men are afraid of appearing weak.”And so, the “boys will be boys” attitude towards sex contributes not just to toxic masculinity but to the from letting toxic masculinity thrive.
The facts in the case of Brock Turner’s rape of a young woman are fairly straightforward.
On January 18th, two Stanford grad students riding their bicycles in the early morning discovered Turner laying on top of and thrusting on an unconscious and unresponsive woman behind the dumpster at a Kappa Alpha party.
Between teachers raping students, rapists getting off light and an ongoing culture of sexual assault, it’s been an ugly week in the news.
That’s why today, we’re going to be talking about toxic masculinity. It’s a topic I return to frequently because one of the ongoing themes at my blog is the topic of what it means to be a man and how to be a , men and women alike, and contributing to the plague of rape and sexual assaults we’re seeing in our schools and college campuses.